Sweet Granny Pat

At 7:31 AM on November 30, 2006 Patsy Ruth Howard passed away. My parents, my sister, and I were with her since about 3 AM, and my dad had been their since the evening before. My sweet, sweet grandma had a very peaceful goodbye.

I want to share a few details about her life. She was born in 1918, and would have been 88 on December 21. She had two sisters and two or three brothers. She a very beautiful young woman, and popular in high school in Sweetwater, Texas. She attended college! She went to North Texas when it was a girl's college in the 30s.

She was married twice. She had one daughter with her first husband, who was ordered to pay her $30 a month in alimony when they divorced. Thirteen (or so) years later, my dad was born, then a few years later my uncle. Their father was my grandfather who was a Lt. Col. (I think) in the Air Force and flew bombers in WWII. Her marriage to my grandpa took her to Japan, Alaska, Colorado, and San Antonio, where my dad and uncle went to high school.

After they divorced, my grandma lived it up as a single woman, owning her own (very successful) women's clothing consignment shop in San Antonio, travelling to London, Paris, the Netherlands, and several trips to Vegas and Alcapulco. She enjoyed Broadway and gambling, fashion and parties. I remember her apartment in San Antonio had a fabulous pool with palm trees and a volleyball net.

Grandma had lots of girlfriends, and evidentally several male suitors, only one of which I remember. My sister and I enjoyed the fruits of her creative labors throughout our childhood and adolescence: she sewed us skirts, scrunchies, and cute midriff-baring tops Mom never would have bought us; she taught us how to sew pillows; and she taught us how to paint Bob Ross-style oil landscapes and china teacups. So many hours devoted to artistic endeavors with Grandma.

Pat was an accomplished painter and sewer, but she also excelled at gardening. Her little duplex in Gracy Farms had the most beautiful irises, lilies, and hawthorne in the whole neighborhood. And of course she cooked. S and I have fond memories of her dinners, which our family shared with her several nights a week for years. She made awesome chocolate-chip cookie cake. Foods she loved: any baked good with lemon (esp. cookies and pound cake), fuzzy navel and margarita wine coolers, fried catfish, and carrot jello.

She was a cat lady! No apologies for it - we went with her to several cat shows at Palmer Auditorium in the 80s. The cat she had the longest while I was growing up was named Tuxi, short for tuxedo. A real schizo cat. Even to a few days before her death, the cat in the nursing home continued to pay grandma visits because she knew she'd get love there.

Grandma was so loving, but she had quite a mischievious side. She loved to give her sons a hard time, lovingly, and it always made us laugh (trust me, those boys deserve it! they can be quite the stinkers). She loved watching America's Funniest Videos. I know she got into lots of trouble with her Aunt Willie and my great Aunt Cha, her sister in-law. They would play cards and drink, and my Aunt Cha had a reputation for being quite a hell-raiser.

Let's see, Grandma also loved Wheel of Fortune, Greg Kinnear, and Michael J Fox. She hated Willie Nelson for some reason (I think it was his hair), but loved some of his songs (Don't Fence Me In). She would often hum old jazz standards and big band tunes. One time for Valentine's Day, she made S and I these little ceramic music boxes that played Let Me Call You Sweetheart, another one of her favorites.

The last party at our house Grandma came to was August 6 of this year. We have some video footage that S and I watched earlier today. She ate four or five pieces of dessert and stayed until about 10 PM, really late for her. She kept telling my Dad she wanted to stay a little longer. I'm so glad she did! We had fun that day.

Grandma Pat was amazing. Always so willing to teach us about art or make us something, and she always wanted to participate in whatever we were doing - she went to the zoo, Sea World, restaurants, parties, vacations, the movies, and shopping with us. She even dressed up in Halloween costumes with S and me.

In these last few years, Grandma Pat participated in the Linus Connection. This is a really neat group. They make quilts for kids in homeless shelters, battered women's shelters, hospitals, crisis centers and in foster care. Grandma made quilts for family and friends for years, and continued making them for Linus Connection up until a few months ago. I am very excited today because my mom gave me Grandma's sewing machine. It's such a wonderful gift, so much a part of who she was and a symbol of so many of the gifts she gave to me and my sister throughout her life. I made my first (and only) quilt as a gift to Pandy Bear for Christmas of 2004. I plan on continuing Grandma Pat's giving by making quilts for Linus Connection myself. I can't think of a more meaningful way for me to remember her and honor her kindness and generosity.