So it's not officially mid-year yet, but ohs well, I gonna do this anyway.
January: I don't remember...Oh! I got a shitload of extra days off from work due to the death of former Pres Gerald Ford and bad weather. Was very nice, and I had a really fun time walking in freezing rain around the neighborhood. No one was out, and I almost fell right when I passed the only other person out. Very funny.
February: I started really walking a lot, think I was going about every day. Had fun in my thesis class. Work started getting boring. Desperation sneaking in...
March: Decided at last minute to apply for grad school. Still walking, but some major issues towards the end of the month with my legs. Health problems, minor and confusing. Frantically trying to work the last numbers for thesis. Beautiful spring, those peach tree blooms smelled more amazing to me than anything else has pretty much ever smelled.
April: Crashed and burned. Major health problems, confused, confused, confused! Didn't talk to friends for a few weeks. Sat this one out. Couldn't walk or turn pages. Fam came over for birthday, brought yummy food and cake. Waitlisted for grad school. Got better towards the end.
May: Just making up for lost time. Didn't finish thesis, didn't do presentation, finally a social life again. No more sick time left! Started walking again mid-month. Mucho improvement health-wise, but still a ways to go. So mysterious, this illness. Back to thesis with my bud.
June: So far, can't complain. Thanks for the snacks, guys!
6.03.2007
Year in Review
3.26.2007
For Twinkle Toes
You asked what is shaking. Here it goes:
Up at 6 AM. Work at 7. Very, very sore from practicing Wii baseball so oneday I will beat Pandy Bear. Listened to Martha Wainwright Martha Wainwright (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her), Kate Bush Aerial, Tori Boys, PJ, pet shop boys, Transformers soundtrack, and assorted podcasts. Spinach salad with tomotoes, salmon, cucumber and dressing for lunch. Scanned and cleaned scanner. More soreness, black ink on nails (which are longer than ever because I am too lazy to cut them. Good thing my toe nails don't grow so fast!)
Deposited check from Pandy Bear (for services rendered), got change to do laundry.
Thought about grad school, job, my This is Good Shit! Chocolate Cake that I will be making for this weekend (for future reference: do not buy chocolate for a cake a week in advance because I will consume most of it), and should I wait for it to stop raining before I take Friedrich out?
Read article from New York Times Magazine about adaptationist and byproduct views of evolution of belief in God (just in time for conversation mom and I had last week. Mom: So why do people believe in God and religion? Me: Um, well, if it has a biological basis, which I believe it does, it is somehow tied to evolution and principles of natural selection. It has to be beneficial or be linked to something beneficial... Mom: Like what? Me: I don't know. Mom continues asking questions with no answers, I continue saying more or less the same thing over and over). I like this Atran guy. Dawkins strikes me as unnecessarily defensive, explosive. Can't we all just get along?
Read other thesis students' two page summaries of thesis. Alton Brown is making things in parchment pouches. I wish Pandy Bear ate fish.
Will I ever be able to enjoy a glass of wine or good martini with little physical problem again? Annual salary: 21, 264. Wtf? It seemed like so much when I wasn't working. I would love to have another bunny, but evidentally, male rabbits are prone to fight with each other, and they molest female rabbits constantly. Dell wireless is fraught with problems.
Coconut sorbet is yummy. Antony and the Johnsons is waiting for me at the library. Library instead of Netflix? I could save about $13 a month. I haven't read a novel since January. I love this neighborhood. I want lots of fruit trees! I prefer rain to cloudy sky.
I tried to include pictures, but for some reason uploading one small photo of Mr. F was taking over 10 minutes, so you'll have to be patient.
PS Kelly broke down when the guy tried to rape her at the dealer's where she was buying coke. Brandon *sigh* rescued her, and she's in rehab now. I know you all were wondering.
3.11.2007
Thesis Update
I know you all are dying to know what's going on with my thesis.
I finished stage one of the computer analysis. Now I'm collecting the rest of the data needed for stage two. I have about 10 or so pages written - intro draft, methods draft. I'm not going to address even half the questions I originally started with, not even hint at primate brain evolution (my main academic interest) because I have run out of time! Not to mention, to do a decent job, I'd probably need to write a two-hundred page book, not a 40 page undergraduate thesis. I am confident I'll finish on time.
I'm very glad I decided to write this thing. It's given me a whole new perspective on research, scientific query, and the power of my own brain. If I decide to continue in academic research, as a career, I feel as though I'm laying the foundation for some great research opportunities later on in my life. I am finishing up an application to a local university for an MA Anthropology degree. We'll see what happens!
2.11.2007
Sheesh! Alright already
Here are some updates:
Still writing my thesis. Working on the methods section or Why I Choose To Base The Hominoid Molecular Tree On This Study Over That One.
I have four books out from Austin Public Library: black swan green by David Mitchell; new moon by Stephanie Meyer; The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger; and Adventures in the Bone Trade by John Kalb. I've read David Mitchell's other novels and loved them in this order: Cloud Atlas, Ghostwritten, Number9Dream. I read the book before new moon, twilight, last month for the bitches' book club - it's a fast, enjoyable teen-vampire-romance novel and not my usual read. Their selection for February is Time Traveler's Wife, which I've heard a lot of good things about, but again, not my usual read. The last is by a geologist/physical anthropologist who lives in Austin, TX. It's about fossil hunting in East Africa and the crazy shit that goes on when you're living in a foreign country during war digging in the ground in 120 degree heat. Or something like that - it's due back in four days and I've got a few hundred pages left.
Stuart bit me a few weeks ago. Bad bunny! I felt so unloved. He must be disgusted by me.
I've been cooking several meals a week. Not just grilled fake cheese and tomato soup, but real meals that take one to two hours until they are finished. So worth it! One draw back: restaurant food is not as good anymore. Not that I'm Julia Child or anything, but I can make it taste how I want and the food is very fresh. No heat lamps here.
I measured the distance that I've been walking with Friedrich around our neighborhood. Two miles! Yippee! That's awesome. It takes us a little over 30 minutes, and I was worried that we were only walking a mile or so. But two miles is pretty awesome - I should wear my pedometer and see how many steps I'm taking. 10,000 steps a day for optimum health! I read something that said Amish men get around 17,000 - 25,000 steps a day which is amazing. The researchers thought this might explain the Amish's low amount of obesity despite a diet high in refined flours, sugar, and meats.
I hope that is good for now. I'll try and think of other things to post later.
12.06.2006
School is almost over
Well, tomorrow is my last official day of school for this semester. I have two tests for two different classes from one prof, and it is the last day in the lab for a big forensic case project due by Monday. I am still working on my thesis project, but have hit a major snag. I'll probably spend some time working that out next week. Next semester I'm only signed up for one class that meets, but I may end up dropping that for work. We'll see. My honors class doesn't require class meetings, but I will meet with my advisor every week or two.
Oh, that reminds me, I sort of decided what I'll be doing next year. I got really stressed out and didn't want to go into a Ph D program straight out of undergrad, so I decided I wouldn't apply for any of those programs for next fall. That left the option of working, interning, and/or applying for masters programs in March for the fall. Then I thought I might as well apply to A&M - their deadline isn't until Jan 1 - but Granny Pat got sick, and I've put it off again.
There's still time left, but I don't really know how I feel. I think the biggest issue is that I want to have options, and at this point there are still several options. I hit a low point with school about a month, month and a half ago. I was totally stressed out and didn't feel like I have what it takes to make studying a full-time job. I was all ready to go back to the real world and return to school only to learn tangible skills. But then I read some paper, and I remembered how cool this stuff is to me. I like learning about it!
What has really zapped me has been the job search. If I really believed in mistakes, I would say that quitting my job before having any real prospects was a mistake. But there's no use crying over it at this point, so I'm not calling it a mistake. I will admit that it has been difficult. Being unemployed with bills to pay and debt does not a sound sleeper make. It takes a lot of brain power to apply to several jobs a week, and that left little brain power for reading papers and thinking of grad school applications. Grad school should, WILL, be different. I will only go if I am paid! It's a job, I'd be learning to teach, working for other profs, writing grants to earn the school money. I will only go if I am paid.
I might have a job! I had an interview that went really well, so I'm feeling better about myself. I have a few back-up plans. And if those don't work out, I'll bite the bullet and head into retail or food service knowing that it's only temporary. Everything's only temporary! Buddha says "All is transitory" - don't sweat it, dude.
9.25.2006
To Do by 2 PM Today!
Will I get everything done? On Friday, I made a list of things to get done by 2 PM today, here's what's left:
- Apply to jobs (6 total)
- Finish Bramblett vertebra chapter
- Read Skelton & McHenry article
- Organize thesis resources
- 5 candidate papers for their molecular-based trees
Wow, now that I listed it out, it doesn't seem like too much. On Friday I found the jobs to apply for, and over the weekend I read 3 articles for a class and looked up resources a prof gave me. Yeah, I can manage time! (Premature celebration? We shall see...)
In other Mr. F news, had J and P and A over to watch some movies. J and I watched THE HUNGER and could not believe how amazingly gorgeous Catherine Deneuve was and is. Seriously, have you seen her? She has aged so well. She's put on weight, which I think is a smart thing to do as you get older (it's natural, right?), and she obviously took very good care of her skin. Makes me want to wear long sleeves and a hat - my arms are so much darker than any other part of my body, mostly cause I wear pants pretty much all the time.
But I digress. THE HUNGER was very enjoyable, poor David Bowie! Had a little of the Dorian Gray action going on. Then we watched POLTERGEIST. Hilarious! Seriously, though, it was a little too long. The whole second ending thing? For me, I only appreciate it if the second ending is about five minutes long. An additional 20 minutes or so is too much! My mind and body are all prepared for the movie to end, then it doesn't - makes me very annoyed, not scared! But overall it was fun. The weather was all stormy and moody. And P and A brought cookies! Yummy!
9.23.2006
Research is hard (boring post)
At least it is easy for it to be overwhelming. This undergraduate thesis is the first major research project I've undertaken. In the end, I will have written 30 - 60 pages, complete with graphs and cladograms and phylogenies and tables, and a bibliography of 20 - 30 sources, primarily from scientific journals. Phew! I do have fun searching in databases for articles, but so far I haven't done a good job organizing what I find. As soon as I download it to my desktop, I forget about it. There's around twenty on my desktop, and about 30 more in various folders from various stages of the research problem. I talked to a professor the other day who had some resources to give me. I really liked his system: four or five file cabinets organized by topic, then the articles alphabetized within. It was very easy for him to find exactly what he wanted to give me.
Wow. Thrilling topic, I know. I'll start a new, more blog friendly post.
9.12.2006
It's official
School is now kicking my ass.
My ability to grasp and utilize the concept known as "Time Management" will probably be the single most useful predictor of my future success.
Things are looking grim.
8.09.2006
Must get work done...
It sucks not having internet access at work. As some of you may know, I have a bit of flexibility at work - my job is such that I don't have to commit 100% of my brain power to the task. However, playing a computer game or looking at a magazine is quite different than reading an article on abnormal spindle-like microcephaly associated blah blah. This means, after I numb my brain listening to the tapes and playing diner dash or whatever at work, I have to come home, snap myself out of it and somehow focus on a very difficult (for me) subject of which I know little about. And the words are so big!
I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow. My goal was to have an idea of which direction I want to go in for this year's research/thesis: genetic study or cognitive experiment. I still don't know! I've done hardly anything. I have been very unwise with my time. Deep breath...
I have done some fruitful things. I am beginning to rewrite my proposal and I am gathering a bibliography together to turn in to the honors advisor. I have almost finished a group of related articles on ASPM. But it's so daunting. The voices of self-doubt are so loud. How will I come up with a research problem that is original, within limited budget and facilities, and something that can be answered accomplished in nine month's time?
Any ideas about how to deal with stress or manage my time? Words of encouragement?